smells i see
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Picture
encounters: poems about race, ethnicity and identity, (2011)
who am i
wanna be anything but who i am        right proud of my
cherokee roots         a drop of ‘kee blood from being
slave raped        massa john traded my right to live freely
for some blankets and beads        ironic trading a slave
to a slave         tribal vote erased my name from rolls

wanna be african, french, irish, german, scotch      
a fifty-fifty ratio diluted innumerable times thru a to z
generations         these green eyes tell you i’m not what
i appear so I play my green card whenever i go dancing
dual passports make me black and white

laws tinted my mind and trials made me run from
reality          africa don’t want me, france uses me,
ireland spits on me, germany hates me, scotland
laughs at me         america created me and they call me
the absence of color ‘cause i’ve absorbed the light

wanna make my woolly hair straight and straight hair
woolly         bleach the mocha and tan the vanilla
paint brown eyes blue and blue eyes hazel      point my
flat nose and implant whatever ain’t growin’ accordin’
to my desires

lips plump with love need thinnin’ cause love is
not what i’m feeling, while thin lips need filling
to experience what i’m running from       too thin,
too tall, too fat, too small           nippin’ and tuckin’
everything that ain’t right in my world

filled with hate so long, i don’t know how to love what i
was given        trafficking thoughts from outside sources
destroyed my self esteem centuries ago        it’s become a
self fulfilling prophecy to wanna be somebody else
channeling cleopatra for beauty tips and Jesus for what to do

artists might have it right painting eyes on elbows and ears
where noses go         smells i see come from someone else’s
thoughts          clearly or not, they paint from inside out and
emphasize my distorted perceptions         must my reality be
i don’t love the truth of me and the blessing i truly am
__________________________________________________
Copyright © 2007 by F. Geoffrey Johnson   All rights reserved
First published in Encounters: Poems About Race, Ethnicity and Identity, 2011

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  • Home
  • Bio / CV
    • F. Geoffrey Johnson's Artist CV
    • F. Geoffrey Johnson's CV Addendum
    • Poetry Bio
    • Fine Art Bio
    • Artist Statement
  • Art Gallery
    • Confluence Exhibition New Works (2022) >
      • identity theft: erasure
      • identity theft: i.d. bracelets-no i.d.
      • mend
      • writing about trees is difficult
      • gone fishin'
      • identity theft: rice bearers (2022)
      • blanket statement
    • series: identity theft (2017-2022) >
      • identity theft: erasure (2018)
      • identity theft: i.d. bracelets-no i.d.
      • identity theft: washington
      • identity theft: jefferson
      • identity theft: johnson
      • identity theft: scars
      • identity theft: rice bearers (2021)
      • identity theft: unlocked
    • series: environment: capped >
      • seabird nest
      • wild bird food: special mix
      • disappearing B's
      • bottlenose dolphin
    • series: confined (2017-2022) >
      • confined: NOW
      • confined: requiem for katrina
      • confined: c miners
      • confined: history re-mixed
      • confined: tears
    • Otis College Residency: 2018 >
      • identity theft: erasure
      • black +
      • seabird nest
      • orange is new black
      • taglines
    • Repurposed Objects: 2013-2019 >
      • america take a knee 4 me
      • stick a fork in it, it's done!
      • chain master
      • planting seeds
      • crippling crutches
      • Lotus: Out of Focus
      • Furious Flowers: Birmingham '63
    • Re-purposed Objects: 2010-2012 >
      • Sleepless in Rwanda
      • Screwed
      • Nigeria: Soiled, Soaked & Silent
      • currents (diptych)
      • Tobacco Road
      • Sole Soldier
      • Domino Effect / Foreign Policy
      • Mapping: Between the Lines-Redlining-Bluelining
    • Visual Poetry >
      • windows
      • Furious Flowers: Birmingham '63
      • stick a fork in it, it's done!
      • confined: history re-mixed: an uncivil guide
      • crippling crutches
      • gaza math
      • Sleepless in Rwanda
    • Gallery: Abstract Paintings >
      • Elements
      • Giants of Jazz
      • Green Mountain
      • Liberty
      • Shadows
    • Gallery: Representational Paintings 2008-2010 >
      • Furious Flowers
      • Freedom's Call
      • The Gathering
      • Marooned
      • Unspoken
    • Gallery: Representational Paintings 2006-2007 >
      • A Cry for Peace
      • Contemplation
      • Chains
      • Crossroads
      • Spirit Dancer
      • Hope
      • Tanzanian Waterfall
      • Quiet Storm
    • Furniture >
      • Redwood Clocks >
        • "Aladdin Lamp" Redwood Burl Clock
        • "Buffalo" Redwood Burl Clock
        • "Firebird" Redwood Burl Clock
        • "Fire" Pendulum Clock
        • "Pterodactyl" Pendulum Clock
      • Redwood Tables
  • Poetry Gallery
    • eight years
    • a note to hip hop
    • gaza math
    • word
    • Hate the Game
    • Outside the Box
    • Art of War
    • Changing Times
    • Missing Pictures
    • Extinction
    • i know Haiti
    • who am i
    • words for sale
    • A Conversation in Poem
  • Residencies
    • Otis College of Art and Design L. A. Summer Residency 2018 (video) >
      • identity theft: erasure
      • black +
      • seabird nest
      • orange is new black
      • taglines
      • @ Work L. A. Summer Residency 2018
    • Caversham >
      • About Residency
      • Residency Video (2009)
      • A Conversation in Poem
  • Books
  • Fine Art Reproductions
    • History Re-Mixed
    • Hate the Game
  • Original Art Purchase
  • News / Events
    • Current/Future/Past Events
  • Photo Gallery
  • MY LIBRARY: Art Reviews, Books, Catalogues, Pamphlets, Ephemera
    • Elevate: Art Above Underground
    • The Dream Continues...
    • A Long Time Comin'...
    • 9.5 Theses on Art & Class
  • Contact
  • Browser Instructions